Two Horns, A Wild Grin and A Eunuch !!

Honk, Honk, Hooooonnnnkkkk,...... Good, god ! Missed by a whisker.

The tense situation in every man's life which he bravely faces every day is that time when he knows that the light on the bloody traffic signal,which is green and smiling is about to turn red and eventually as if it sees you coming, it turns to red. It is that moment, where you are in two minds whether to raise the throttle or hit the brakes. You can see the sense of defeat in the eyes of those people who are in the very front row of the traffic signal.

"Had I not seen that girl, had I not picked the call, Had I sped just a little faster, Had that nerd dint come in front of me, Had I not.....?"

I face this situation literally every day of my life. I sometimes feel, every other signal in Bangalore city recognizes me and just to, mind you, just to tease me, they turn to red, when they see me coming. I believe, they even have a flair to read people's mind. Perhaps, my case is somewhere used by them as a case-study in their training for this skill, coz there skill-sets turn to its most-correct-phase, when they see me coming. The more the eagerness to reach, the more they make you wait. I even try to enact that I am not getting late, but still these buggers see the real me, or probably I am not thaaat a good actor..!

Another funniest of the situation at the traffic signals is the heights of urgency people show when they are waiting for the traffic signal.... When the light turns from red to green, even the person standing half a mile from the signal starts honking as if he would fly over everybody in front of him and cross the signal.....

Lemme tell you something which most of the people don't know. In India, and especially in bangalore, eunuchs and traffic signals have a huge cartel amongst them. The moment they see a wealthy rich kid in his super bike or a techie in a rick, one blink towards the signal, and it turns red. So much so it makes these innocent "about-to-be-mauled" victims stop right in front of them.Then the usual molestation to grab some bucks......

Hope many of you have observed, now-a-days traffic signals have only two lights. It should be either a red or a green. The other counter part has now become a history. "Papa, what is the yellow light for in this picture?" "I dont know baby, I never see these now-a-days. My grandfather used to say that we should get ready to go when this yellow lights appears." The orphaned yellow light can only be seen at night when it greets the dark and empty roads, saying to the world "See, I told you, I am alive". 

Why do I give so much of attention to this? Because traffic signals are new for me. The town from where I came from, has only one signal, which is installed only to show off, I repeat, ONLY TO SHOW OFF that the city has one. It never tried to stop people. My city's traffic signal is one of those kinds which understands people's thoughts and helps them. It knows every man in this world is in a state of urgency and I should not be the one to shatter their endeavors.

So next time you are near traffic signal, watch it carefully. You can see two horns, a wild grin and a eunuch waiting for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. - It means Post Script, if you don't know ! And pardon me for this PJ !
8 Responses
  1. vishnu Says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. vishnu Says:

    Well said Sujith ... tht also reminds me, when the light turns green, the person who is half a km frm signal turns on his horn as if he is conveying tht abey hato yaar woh green signal mereliye hey, mujhe jaanedoo yaaro...kabhi alvida na kehna..u all stay here i'l b back in the evening...:)

  3. HS Says:

    Nice one.... I had to face couple or more of such situations, where I desperately expect the signal to turn green before that eunuch caught me... When I'm seated comfortably in bus I used to pity those poor guys in bike who fall prey to these people...

  4. Sujith Says:

    Yeah ! Harish, thats the reason I thought of blogging on this topic, as people might feel somewhere or the other, they have faced this situation.....

  5. Sujith,
    This is an awesome post. The humour in it is just enough to not distract the reader from getting the message. Humour can get distasteful if it serves no purpose - and I guess social evils are usually exploited by humourous story writer or stand up comedians to make people laugh off the frustration they face everyday.

    You have brought out all factors of 'life at the signal'. And needless to say, I can relate to it completely.

    Wishing you a great year of 2010.

  6. Chhaya Says:

    i m here at Vittal’s suggestion :)

    in my city (Mumbai).. ppl start honking even before the light turns green. being a girl, i get extra special honking rounds cz they think i m most likely to tokae 5 minutes to get my car moving. hahaha.

    i read in a book by a Budhdhist Monk that this behaviour is deep rooted in human mind. when something is physically blocking their way, they cant stand it.

  7. Sujith Says:

    @ Vittal & @ Chhaya

    This day would be remembered as the day the earth stood still, (atleast mine did). Finally the two of the best bloggers visited my blog... Thanks for your comments.

    @ Vittal.
    Actually I always try to put humor in anything I do, be it blogs or be it the every day conversation. That, I feel, is my strength as well as my weakness. Weakness as well because, as you rightly mentioned that people sometimes get to distasteful humor, I feel I drift into that category sometimes. But I was extra careful in this blog, though I felt, I have ventured out to some unnecessary areas.. Still, suggestion taken, thanks for your comments.

  8. Sujith Says:


    Aap aagayi to jaise bahaar aagayi.

    Thanks a lot, chhaya ! The fact that you noticed, there is somebody called Sujith, mattered a lot. especially when I know that you had encouraged Vittal in his times of infancy in blogging.

    Thanks to Vittal as well, who suggested you my blog.