Idiots ? Naaaaah....!

I have seen many many movies that affected me in some ways.

Movies that made me hold my stomach and laugh my intestines out ! 
Movies that made my eyes swollen and nose running ! 
Movies that made me.. ahem, you know what I mean ! 
Movies that took me to another world.
Movies that tempted me to bring out the actor in me.
Movies that brought back memories.
Movies that we friends started seeing each other in the characters.
Movies that gave us ideas of innovation or should we say ideas of hooliganism.
Movies that cried out a message which lingers in your mind.
Movies that made me believe unbelievable things.
Movies that made me ashamed of myself, at least some facets in me.
Movies that changed the vision of life.
Movies that pumped up the adrenalin, made me take challenges.
Movies that brought a ray of hope during low times.
Movies that made me review my own life.
Movies that can be seen just to kill time.

But had never seen a movie which made me do all the things mentioned supra. One movie, so many take-aways. I am not a business man, but yet this movie made me so calculative that I started thinking if a 100 bucks' movie can give me all these things, why should I ever watch any other movie. 

They thought out of the box, brought out-of-the-world notions on to the celluloid, raised creativity to the zenith, opened the eyes of their contemporaries that simplicity with heart, thats all it needs to touch millions. I salute them.

Dumb-struck, mesmerized, zapped, hypnotized, spellbound, enthralled, captivated.... am using Synonyms to express the degree of joy that I had from this movie. Probably one of those very few, very very few movies from which I DELIBERATELY WANTED to pick a part which I didn't liked, just to keep my belief of "there cannot be a perfect movie" breathing.

You might feel that I have exaggerated. I completely agree, but this movie deserves nothing less than this, which I feel would be the exact case after you see it. No doubt, you cannot find a single human being on this planet who had not liked this movie. [actually found one, see my comments]

People who showed me this magnum-opus, people who made my money well spent, people who told the world this is how a movie is done, cannot be called IDIOTS ! Naaaaaaah !! 

That's 3 IDIOTS for you !!!! 3 CHEERS TO 3 IDIOTS ! HIP HIP HURRAY

Two Horns, A Wild Grin and A Eunuch !!

Honk, Honk, Hooooonnnnkkkk,...... Good, god ! Missed by a whisker.

The tense situation in every man's life which he bravely faces every day is that time when he knows that the light on the bloody traffic signal,which is green and smiling is about to turn red and eventually as if it sees you coming, it turns to red. It is that moment, where you are in two minds whether to raise the throttle or hit the brakes. You can see the sense of defeat in the eyes of those people who are in the very front row of the traffic signal.

"Had I not seen that girl, had I not picked the call, Had I sped just a little faster, Had that nerd dint come in front of me, Had I not.....?"

I face this situation literally every day of my life. I sometimes feel, every other signal in Bangalore city recognizes me and just to, mind you, just to tease me, they turn to red, when they see me coming. I believe, they even have a flair to read people's mind. Perhaps, my case is somewhere used by them as a case-study in their training for this skill, coz there skill-sets turn to its most-correct-phase, when they see me coming. The more the eagerness to reach, the more they make you wait. I even try to enact that I am not getting late, but still these buggers see the real me, or probably I am not thaaat a good actor..!

Another funniest of the situation at the traffic signals is the heights of urgency people show when they are waiting for the traffic signal.... When the light turns from red to green, even the person standing half a mile from the signal starts honking as if he would fly over everybody in front of him and cross the signal.....

Lemme tell you something which most of the people don't know. In India, and especially in bangalore, eunuchs and traffic signals have a huge cartel amongst them. The moment they see a wealthy rich kid in his super bike or a techie in a rick, one blink towards the signal, and it turns red. So much so it makes these innocent "about-to-be-mauled" victims stop right in front of them.Then the usual molestation to grab some bucks......

Hope many of you have observed, now-a-days traffic signals have only two lights. It should be either a red or a green. The other counter part has now become a history. "Papa, what is the yellow light for in this picture?" "I dont know baby, I never see these now-a-days. My grandfather used to say that we should get ready to go when this yellow lights appears." The orphaned yellow light can only be seen at night when it greets the dark and empty roads, saying to the world "See, I told you, I am alive". 

Why do I give so much of attention to this? Because traffic signals are new for me. The town from where I came from, has only one signal, which is installed only to show off, I repeat, ONLY TO SHOW OFF that the city has one. It never tried to stop people. My city's traffic signal is one of those kinds which understands people's thoughts and helps them. It knows every man in this world is in a state of urgency and I should not be the one to shatter their endeavors.

So next time you are near traffic signal, watch it carefully. You can see two horns, a wild grin and a eunuch waiting for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. - It means Post Script, if you don't know ! And pardon me for this PJ !

Are you an atheist ?

"Do you believe in god?". Duh ! What a question to start with..........

There I was sitting with her on a sunny day of a "planned to be a good" weekend, sipping a nice little hot cuppa, and then like a loud thunder , her question goes inside my ears vibrating every inch of my left over ear drums (Yeah, I listen to a lot of music, loud ones the most).

"Ahem ! Not, I mean, Not much, know, n..not..not really," Holy crap !! This guilt sometimes makes people the super-stammerers of the world. I knew she was an ardent devotee, a god fearing person to the core, every inch of it.

"So you are an atheist?", Why, Why, Why people are so keen on making me start with a lecture when they clearly know, I wont even stop to breathe if I launch myself. I tried to cajole the orator in me, with a silent lullaby.

"Anything else ?", "No, cheque please", For the first time, I started to see waiters as life guards. Here was I, saved by a waiter from drowning myself into an eternal abyss of arguments.

Atheism has been the most controversial term, raped extensively to the whims and fancies over the time immemorial. Being born to a strong atheist father and an equally orthodox and god-loving mother, it has been a confusing world for me.

"Ma, what is the benefit of praying to god?", with an agarbatthi(incense stick, in our language, dont ask why is it called so) in my hand encircling in front of an idol, still confused in which direction should I go about? clockwise or anti....?. I remember this episode during my school days, like it happened few days back. She, with a Puja-ki-thali (No synonyms in english, My bad!!) in her hand, calmly asked back, "Why do you want to see benefits in everything you do?". Great ! A counter question. I have been bred upon a constant diet of debating in my family. FYI, Whenever we used to watch tv, for instance, even a comedy show, we went to the extent of seeing pros and cons of a joke. thats how we are?

But that question still remained unanswered. Is it in the nature of the human race that we try to see what we get, in everything we do, rather than see what others can get from it. Its not that I am an ardent philanthropist. You know I have the looks of a "Miser-next-door". Probably even my heart thinks twice before beating, what will it get in turn for its efforts.

I know, I have been going around lots of things in this post. But I would sum it up in a while, I swear.

Worshiping God or not, theism should not be connected to the supreme soul. Let me reveal something, I am neither a believer nor a god-hater, if there is any word like that. You can call me agnostic, a confused man as I described before. I do not want to give a shape and a size to him. I even know that it has become a fashion statement to the people to call themselves atheist. Believe me, I am not in that crowd. What I want to express here is that one should not relate the notion of theism to god, but to the concept of Altruism or Selflessness.

I feel, our ancestors created this concept of "GOD" only to encourage people to indulge in good deeds and create fears among them from doing the more attractive opposite of the former. But this rationale had been manipulated to largest possible extent worldwide which gave rise to different flavors of religion and caste. This was bound to happen, because when anything so subjective is conceived, then you are nothing but sure to have different versions of the same perception. In this, the overriding purpose was forgotten or perhaps lost in the transition.

It is the sense of selflessness that matters the most than the belief in god. If we start doing anything that would benefit others, then we are justifying the very existence of God, fulfilling the rationale. If you feel not worshiping god is atheism, then yes I am an atheist. Because I dont feel any benefit either to me or to any other person. I have seen devote worshipers doing unbelievably evil deeds to the society. There's no point in calling themselves believers of god, no matter how many zillions of donation they give.

"You didn't answer my question, Are you an atheist ?" The look I saw in her eyes was enough for my adam's apple to give out a gulp. Classic sign of timidity ! I started looking here and there to see if any waiter sees me and gives another try !!!! But even they were probably with her and were waiting to corner me.....

Provocations and nature's call, No one can hold it for a long time, neither cud I ! You were the one who provoked me, dont make me responsible for the aftermath. Here I go, " See, Atheism cannot be defined in one sentence. It all depends on the perception of the people. A thing may be good to you, but not for me.. One cannot.."

"No ! Here you go ! Not again, Whats wrong with you? why do you start giving sermons always. Cant you answer this simple question? Now move fast, we are gettin late."

No one would feel happy getting loathed. But I did that day. I felt she understood me completely. There I was shamelessly smiling on being scolded, shaking my bike's fuel tank to guess the hole that was about to dent my wallet and getting ready for a looooong drive........

My Set of the Finest movies !!

These are some of the best films of mine, which I feel people must watch. They are not being rated in the sequence. They are all equally good and are my top five films.

1] Blood Diamond:

Amazing plot !!! I would rate this performance of Leonardo, the best, better than titanic and his role in “The Departed”. However I feel, his role was not the meatiest in the latter than in the former. The director Edward Zwick’s style of narration has been dead on and will make you move alongwith the film without making you feel that this scene is not required. And even after forcing myself to concentrate on other parts of the movie, I still cant resist myself to extol about Leo’s performance. It was an Oscar worthy performance, but damn it was Forest Whitaker, who bagged it for the Last king of scotland(Although his performance in it was exuberant). Not to forget, leo, however, got a golden globe….

2] The Passion of Christ !

Oh god ! I don’t even remember how many hours I had cried watching this film. Mel Gibson has reached the hearts of millions by putting the pain of Christ crucification on the screen. Some might find it gross, some might even find that he has crossed the lines by showing too much violence which ultimately does not create sympathy but awkwardness. I feel that’s not true, because the BIBLE though does not mentions how jesus was crucified, but still gives a picture of the pain and torture he went through during it. I don’t want to go into the argument of whether it was actually true or the good ol’ mystery of he being the “son of god”… But the way the film was shot, just makes you cry, and cry buckets.

3] Traitor:

I wonder why Bollywood did not try remaking this film.. or wait… they actually made an attempt, I guess.. Mukhbir with Samir Dattani (Fufff !! what a choice). Not exactly a remake because you just cant expect film like this to happen (yeah, you heard it right, happen) in India. It’s a story about a US Muslim, Samir Horn ( what coincidence) who leads a life of a police informer in a terrorist outfit. I strongly recommend people should go and watch this film. The way the story reveals is the best part of the film and you end up thinking how is gonna end.

4] Snatch !

I am developing a sense of respect to Brad Pitt and his style of acting. Earlier I used to think

he was just a chocolate boy who was interested in changing wife like changing knickers. (Uh ! I was pissed off when he ditched Jennifer Aniston). But his performance in Troy, Babel, Snatch, Inglourious Bastards (Dude ! the spelling’s right, it isn’t Inglorious ! Go check the title again), Button, etc, made me feel this bloody son of…. (Ok, I am still worried about of Jennifer…. ) has some serious talent in him.

Actually this film is not entirely his film. Infact this is not Brad’s film. This is Guy Ritchie’s film. Especially I like the scene where three different shots have been linked in a smooth manner.

5] A Wednesday and Aamir:

Bollywood’s rising ! And rising because of new comers. Not the chopras, johars, etc. These two films have changed (or atleast should change) the way the producers look a film as an art than a money making machine. The climax of Aamir and the exotic act put up by Naseeruddin Shah (India wont get a finer actor than Mr. Shah) are the highlights of these films. Neeraj Pandey and Raj Kumar Gupta should lead this revolution and raise the standards to give a competition to Hollywood.

I have just picked Five or rather six of the best movies that I have seen, which I feel everybody should watch. There are lots of others like, Sarfarosh, Apaharan, Casino Royale, Ek ruka hua faisla, Taken, Bourne series, etc., which are in the top of my shelf. I just picked up a few of them to share the best.

Go get’em and watch ! And don’t forget to comment and share about your versions of the best films !!

Best Funniest One Liners I have ever read.....

Folks, I feel humor is one of the tools which helps people in creating lasting impressions over others. Coz, I use them a Lawt !!!! Sometimes it works... Sometimes I get loathed .....

To help some of you, I have found some good one liners on the net.... here are they...

Funny One-Liners

  • 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  • A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  • All generalizations are false, including this one.
  • All men are idiots, and I married their King.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
  • Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
  • Assassins do it from behind.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
  • Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
  • Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
  • Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
  • C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
  • Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  • Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
  • Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
  • Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
  • Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
  • Death is hereditary.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  • Did anyone see my lost carrier?
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.
  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
  • Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
  • Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
  • Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
  • Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
  • Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
  • Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  • Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
  • Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
  • Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
  • Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Honk if you want to see my finger.
  • How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
  • How does Teflon stick to the pan?
  • How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
  • I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
  • I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  • I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
  • I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
  • I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
  • I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  • I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
  • I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
  • I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
  • I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
  • I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
  • If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
  • If you can't convince them, confuse them.
  • If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
  • If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.
  • If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
  • If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  • It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  • It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  • It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  • Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
  • Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
  • Keep honking. I'm reloading.
  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
  • Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  • Montana: At least our cows are sane!
  • More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!
  • Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
  • My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.
  • My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  • Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
  • Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
  • Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
  • Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
  • Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
  • Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  • Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  • Remember half the people you know are below average.
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set
  • Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!
  • Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  • Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
  • Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
  • Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
  • The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
  • The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
  • The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  • The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
  • The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
  • The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
  • The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
  • The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel.
  • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
  • There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  • There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
  • Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
  • Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
  • Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
  • Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  • To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  • Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
  • Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  • Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
  • We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
  • Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  • What's the speed of dark?
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
  • When there's a will, I want to be in it.
  • When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  • Who stopped payment on my reality check?
  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  • Why is abbreviation such a long word?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  • You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
  • You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
  • You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
  • Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

The "Hussain" in me has arose again

Hi Friends,

I am now a Chartered Accountant. So you are facing a new Sujith with two extra letters "C.A" [However I can use these letters only after August, after some formalities]

Anyways, to tell you something new. I am in Bangalore now. The city with "The Bang". I have got my Bike too. So the city is still more "BANG"ing.....

By the way, Suddenly my long lost talent of Painting is rising again. The only difference being, it is now adept with technology. I want you guys to see some of my paintings which I made it on Microsoft PAINT.. Yes the very old MS-PAINT which we used to scribble upon and do some MODERN ART [the head'n'tail of which was supposed to be explained]

So see my paintings and tell me valuable review.

So how are these ?????

Appreciations are the things for which the artists are hungry of !!!