A Ray that never dawned

“Its difficult, the condition is too critical to predict anything”. He never felt in his life that he would ever hear these words being said to him.

His father loved him very much. He too found a great satisfaction in making him happy. The contented smile in his father’s face, when he stood first to the school, was still lingering in his mind. He felt so delighted not because he achieved something, but to see his father happy…..

……..Now his father was on his way to the Operation theater.

The knee caps which started trembling from the time his father fainted, were not listening to his plea to stop. Eyes, almost moist, about to let go tears, saw the plight of his mother and sister and stopped. He needed seclusion to vent himself.

He saw a small temple inside the hospital premises. He suddenly felt the urge of going inside and sitting there for a while. Unlike his friends, who were arch devotees and some turning into one during exams, he never felt like visiting a temple. He followed his father, whose belief was “A good deed a day keeps the necessity of visiting a temple away”.

His eyes were so damp that he could not make out whose idol was it, in the temple. He still did not feel like praying. Perhaps the guilt of not being religious was biting him out. He sat at the far end, away from the crowd. He remembered his father always used to tell him during his exams, “Never get tensed in your life, you would get so busy in it that you would forget to get out of the situation”. He could never practice his father’s words till today. His episode of passing-out in the exam hall, is still being used by the teachers of his school as an example to their students to illustrate how difficult the paper would be, and how much efforts they have to put in.

This was the time, he felt. He turned towards the deity and stood in front of him for few seconds and went inside the hospital. His mother and sister were with some of his relatives. He went and sat beside them. He suddenly found a ray of hope, a hope that his father would be back. He started thinking for ways to get out of this situation. He strived hard to be optimistic. He understood that people pray to remain optimistic. He started to repent for not heeding to his father’s words earlier.

“The doctor wants to see you”, He could see his mother getting tensed, while he was on his way to the doctor’s cabin. The words from the doctors mouth, literally switched off his brain. This was worse than death. His father had slipped into coma and the chances of his revival were too feeble. He had to weep as he was finding difficult to breathe. His uncle who had accompanied him, took him out and broke the news to his mother. He dreaded about the consequences but the unexpected thing happened; his mother was happy hearing the news. He got confused and informed his mother again. He saw her thanking god.

“Now at least we can see him in front of our eyes, beta. We will take very good care of him. I know god will never fail me. I will see that your father recovers”

The ray was still shimmering somewhere………….

“Congrats dude! Secured a rank in the university ! Treat ! treat ! Treat !” He was smiling but he never felt his heart doing the same. Two years till date, his father had not opened his eyes. He wanted to show his medal to his father, he wanted to read out his rank certificate to him, if only his father was able to respond. The two years passed by in the belief that his father was understanding whatever he was being said to. He too sometime felt it, but the bloody biology he had studied made him more practical and stone-hearted. He was happy that his mother and sister were still seeing the brighter side and enjoying the time with his father. They would bathe him, feed him, talk to him, sing songs to him, read newspaper. They almost converted his father's room to their living. But he started to sense that the ray of hope was now more like a withering lamp yet strong enough to believe that his father would be fine, if not completely.

However, the day had to come. The day when his father had become too weak to even breathe, the day which everyone expected, dreaded, but prayed never to come. His father lost his battle and his mother too. She lost her hope, surrendered to the practicality which the doctors had said. He felt sad but for other reason. He felt sad and ashamed that he did not feel sad for his father’s death. Infact he felt relieved for his mother, his sister and most of all, his father. He had seen his father die every day. Perhaps  he had understood the fact that they had lost him the day he had slipped into coma.

Vikram, still continues to remain optimistic in his life. He still sees a ray of hope at tough times. I remember the old vikram who was very pessimistic, would even stop preparing for the exam, if he felt he was gonna flunk . 

The new Vikram has now become an idol for me. It was he who was optimistic that I would be a CA, not me. But I still feel very sorry for him, as the event that turned him into a new leaf, never saw the light of joy. A ray of hope, that never turned into a dawn…….    

10 Responses
  1. Karthik Says:

    Such a morose post, but what a message it delivers! Kudos, man, for coming up with a post like this.
    No matter what, a silver lining will always come. Just gotta keep looking without losing the spirit. Fabulous!

    And thanks for visiting my blog. I appreciate it.

    Hosa Varshada Hardika Shubhashayagalu! ;-)

  2. thanks karthik ! a hearty welcome to you too in my blog. actually I got your link from chhaya's blog.

    btw, morose! thanks for adding a word in my not-so-big dictionary. will remember that

  3. Sujith,
    I am going to come across as a perfect party-pooper right now. I feel that the story has a lot of loose ends (lot of unanswered questions). It gets quite confusing at the end.

    If you want me to edit it, please e-mail me a doc file with the content (not that I am a bigshot at writing, just that I like to help). And, only if you want me to and don't mind.

    Also, I feel that this post is the first draft. A quick suggestion, something that helped me, is keep your story aside for a couple of days. Read it again and see if it makes sense to you - if it does it is either good or you haven't matured, if it doesn't then you have definitely matured. :-)

    In the middle you have said that mother was happy. This is not a plausible scenario. No matter what, none can see their loved ones suffering even if it means death for liberation. However, you could've portrayed the feeling in a manner to show that the mother was trying to be strong.

    Cheers mate. A fairly good attempt.

  4. rAHUL Says:

    Touching story. I can see it is straight from the heart. Don't stop writing. I think I will remember this story when times are tough.

  5. Sujith Says:


    Thanks vittal for the suggestion of keeping it in draft before its posted. Actually this blog has been in draft since September 09. But the sad part was I could not give time to it.

    Regarding the mother's reaction. Lemme tell u this was based on a real incident. The mother was so innocent to even understand the plight of a man who would be vegetative for the rest of life.

    This even frustates the son, who knows the suffering his father would undergo. But he just does not dare to explain his mother for the only reason that she might lose heart. Further his mother is so strongly religious, she feels that god would certainly bring back her husband. Her initial response to the doctors words was a sigh of relief that she did not lose her husband. Perhaps the faith in god made her more optimistic about her husband's condition.

    But still, probably I was not able to potray it properly. Will take note of your suggestion thanks.

  6. Sujith Says:

    Thanks rahul,

    Your comments mattered a lot to me. Happy that you liked it. I thought it was too sad to put it in words. But its just the message that I wanted to convey that optimism brings out the best in us, atleast most of the times....

  7. HS Says:

    Nice ... nothing more as others have given enough comments ..

  8. I visit your blog atleast once a day.
    I have already been through this article.
    It is very touching

  9. Gauri Says:

    I draw inspiration from you before this post, and even more after this... Inspiration to live life. This incidence has a part to play in how i want to deal with crisis in my life...
    Really inspired by your post...